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Tommy
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Joined: 06 Feb 2003
Location: San Jose, CA
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 Posted: 2004.03.06(Sat)1:17 Post subject: [Done] New Tank Syndrome |
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Final text moved to the Articles section:
http://www.aquahobby.com/articles/e_syndrome.php
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Last edited by Tommy on 2004.03.08(Mon)13:50; edited 9 times in total |
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Marcos Avila
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Joined: 05 Feb 2003
Location: Hiroshima (JP)
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| Posted: 2004.03.06(Sat)2:42 Post subject: |
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I really like it Tommy! Let's wait for others to chip in of course, but I think it's pretty much ready to go. The only possible improvement I might suggest is that in the first section you try to emphasize the fact that NTS is NOT unavoidable, it's a result of MISTAKES and loss of fish CAN be minimized or even totally avoided by understanding the concept of tank cycling and monitoring this process with the appropriate tests.
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nonamethefish
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Joined: 06 Feb 2003
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| Posted: 2004.03.06(Sat)10:01 Post subject: |
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Format is great! Overall a very nice article.
If you ever do an article on tank maintenance, then it could be a part 2 to this one. |
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Tommy
Moderators
Joined: 06 Feb 2003
Location: San Jose, CA
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| Posted: 2004.03.06(Sat)10:08 Post subject: |
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Great suggestion Marcos, thanks. I've worked it into the first section, second paragraph. I also went back through the entire article and made a few adjustments. Where you see Dark Blue color text is the part that I have edited since the original post.
Thanks Noname. I don't have any plans to write a sequel, but maybe that is a great idea to spur someone else here on the board to try their hand at writing?
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Matt Shandorf
Advisors
Joined: 23 Apr 2003
Location: MN
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| Posted: 2004.03.06(Sat)16:12 Post subject: Re: [Draft] New Tank Syndrome |
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Tommy, I think it's a great article - It must have taken you forever to write! It'll go well with Shawna's Fishless cycling article.
Sorry for being nitpicky, but I think there are two punctuation errors in the second paragraph.
| Tommy wrote: |
Welcome to the hobby, you are experiencing New Tank Syndrome or NTS. Though obviously not a scientifically classified malady, this is a very real condition that many new fish keepers find themselves experiencing...The loss of fish in a brand new tank, CAN be minimized or even totally avoided by understanding the concept of tank cycling and monitoring this process with the appropriate tests.- |
In the first sentence, I would put either a semicolon or a dash between hobby
and you to separate those two independent clauses. Also, no comma is necessary between tank and CAN.
*Smacking myself for being anal*
[/I] |
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Tommy
Moderators
Joined: 06 Feb 2003
Location: San Jose, CA
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| Posted: 2004.03.06(Sat)16:20 Post subject: Re: [Draft] New Tank Syndrome |
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| Matt Shandorf wrote: | | Sorry for being nitpicky, but I think there are two punctuation errors in the second paragraph. |
Thanks Matt! You are NOT being nitpicky. That's what this is all about. I've been through it numerous times and I keep finding grammar errors too. Feel free to point out any others that you can find.
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Marcos Avila
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Joined: 05 Feb 2003
Location: Hiroshima (JP)
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| Posted: 2004.03.08(Mon)22:28 Post subject: |
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Woohoo...I don't know how it was for you all but for me the process was great...it took me like 10 minutes to get the article up after I saw it [Ready] 
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Are you a Fish-HAVER or a Fish-KEEPER?
Success with a fish/tank is measured in YEARS, not months or weeks... |
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