Tropical Fish Forums

[KhiaraFish]

Hello everyone. I have many hobbies, including fishkeeping, gardening and writing. Recently my writing has taken center stage, and I would love to get some feedback. Right now I'm publishing to a site called figment, here's a link to my profile -

http://figment.com/users/22944-Tamlyn

Thanks!
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Please, oh Please can someone help me!?

My fish mugged me and stole my wallet!

[Peterjay]

Looks to me like you're off to a good start, especially considering your tender age.

Here's an exercise for you: take the first two paragraphs of "Faerytale" and remove all modifiers, both adjectives and adverbs. Let it sit for a day, then go back and replace the few you really, REALLY need. You'll be amazed how well it'll read once it's tightened up.

I'm an online newspaper columnist specializing in humor, and I do this all the time to keep my pieces down to 700 words or so. I don't really have an official space limitation, but readers are better able to maintain interest and stay with writing that is compact and not overly drawn out.

Regarding your list of favorite writers; (along with commas) I would add Stephen King's name. He has his weaknesses, but there's no one who is better at setting an atmosphere. The beginning of his novel "It" is one of the best examples I've ever seen of putting the reader right into the environment of the characters.

Let me know how you make out with your exercise. I think you're a talented youngster.