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Can everybody play nice here?
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McP
Advisors


Joined: 24 Jul 2004

PostPosted: 2005.01.06(Thu)23:02    Post subject: Can everybody play nice here? Reply with quote

I think its come to everyones attention that there seems to be a lot of tension on the boards and I personally do not know why. Some mods have come under fire and I personally don't think it is justified since they are VOLUNTEERING their time, and wisdom to try and better us, the members as fish keepers. If they see something wrong with your setup and they are a little blunt in answering it you have to realise this site is more than our computers but there are real people behind them. People are human and can justifiably answer a post any way that they like, and ganging up on someone who has been helping many people, or another who just asked for more details but still made suggestions based on what they decifered from a barren question...totally uncalled for.
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Mogwai
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Joined: 16 Feb 2004
Location: Cheltenham, UK

PostPosted: 2005.01.07(Fri)6:26    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hear hear. Smile
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MarkLehr
Moderators


Joined: 09 Dec 2004
Location: Louisville, KY

PostPosted: 2005.01.10(Mon)21:45    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thank you McP. If you see a post which you think is inappropriate, just send a message to a Moderator. I will especially be happy to take a look at it.

I know sometimes Moderators can come off harsh. Like everyone, we are human and can get frustrated, especially when the same people continue to post questions and ignore the answers. A lot of people make no attempt at all to educate themselves before posting, which is not the intent of the forum. These people especially will think they are getting a rude answer.

Moderators read a LOT MORE posts than most people and as such develop a much better idea of who is on the forum and what level of knowledge and background in the hobby they have. Sometimes a firm answer from a Moderator is necessary to keep people in line, and sometimes we have just had a bad day! Evil or Very Mad In any case, our primary concern is always the health of the fish and happy fishkeeping, just like you!

Thanks for being here,

Mark
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rijac
Regulars


Joined: 05 Sep 2004
Location: singapore

PostPosted: 2005.01.12(Wed)16:47    Post subject: Reply with quote

I find it irritating that some people ask for help and then get upset because the answer is not what they were hoping it was... and then go about getting upset with the mods and other folks who tried to help....
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number6
Moderators


Joined: 07 Feb 2003
Location: Ontario, Canada

PostPosted: 2005.01.13(Thu)9:13    Post subject: Reply with quote

rijac wrote:
I find it irritating that some people ask for help and then get upset because the answer is not what they were hoping it was... and then go about getting upset with the mods and other folks who tried to help....
That is very true, however, I am sure that what gets posters upset is not the content of the answer but the delivery.
Whether it is the content or the delivery, everyone should realize that typed words on screen do not always sound the same in one person's head as they do in another. emoticons help convey tone, but not always.
What we all need to do is always give any response the benefit of doubt and ask rather than assume any attitude.
Be polite, even when you feel another wasn't and you might be surprised at the next post from that same person.

So I agree, lets all play nice in here. Wink
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"Just don't look in my fish room honey... it's just better for all of us. "
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McP
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Joined: 24 Jul 2004

PostPosted: 2005.01.13(Thu)12:27    Post subject: Reply with quote

while I agree with you to a certain extent Discus Man there have been a lot of responses where people just say I don't think this is the case and wait for an answer that they want to hear. Rolling Eyes
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Fish sticks
Regulars


Joined: 29 Mar 2004
Location: california

PostPosted: 2005.01.22(Sat)19:10    Post subject: Reply with quote

I don't know, I compleatly agree with discus man. I see a lot of posts where instead of educating people and trying to understand their feelings, they are outright accused of animal cruelty and such. in some of these posts I've put my two cents in a polite way, and have actually had those people later pm me saying "thank you for being nice to me when everyone else was rude, I know what their saying and I will try to do it but they were just making me upset in the way they were treating me." along those lines.

something that always upset me, there was a person who fought bettas on here because well, he didn't know better. but once that person was told it was wrong that he did it (educated about it) he outright apologized and said he would never do it again, but I've seen him still made fun of a laughed at, and his advice not taken because it was comming form someone who fought bettas after all. Very mean.
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Laskey
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Joined: 27 Nov 2004
Location: Northern Germany

PostPosted: 2005.01.23(Sun)3:00    Post subject: Reply with quote

@-McP wrote:
while I agree with you to a certain extent Discus Man there have been a lot of responses where people just say I don't think this is the case and wait for an answer that they want to hear. Rolling Eyes


Hear hear. Anyone notice a few newbie posts in the last week that were just over-the-top? I'm talking about people whose questions do get answered, but then they suddenly found out that they made a big mistake by not cycling, or stocking with no thought put into anything other than "I like these fish". And on top of that, they say their questions weren't answered, when in fact they were. Rather than doing research to find out why so many people are giving them more information than they asked for, they get flustered and even angry. I almost thought the board was being trolled. I wasn't even participating in the threads, but those posts disturbed me nonetheless, and thought the moderators handled things as graciously as possible.

I think it's when someone indicates that they don't really want to take the best care of their fish possible, that that becomes the point at which it's difficult to keep one's patience. In my short time here, I've seen newbies make horrendous mistakes (myself included) but if you have that genuine desire to learn, admit your mistakes and fallibility, and willingness to put things right, people tend to be very kind to you here. If all you want is a "pretty" tank and don't care if your fish are only living a fraction of their lifespans, then this is simply the wrong place to come for questions, as this is a fishkeeping board. Fishkeeping is seriously not so difficult that someone can't spend some time constructing a tank of compatible fish that are compatible with a given water quality, and learn how to cycle the tank and keep it clean.

If someone only wants to spend five minutes on the Internet getting a quick answer when there's every indication in their post, that they're in the middle of a disaster, and they then get offended by any efforts to help them learn, besides just answering their original question, then they're willfully ignorant.

I have a feeling that the newbies who should read this, won't, and that they are hit-and-runners and might not even be back. Sad Laskey
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panicFREAK
Regulars


Joined: 15 Jan 2005
Location: Brisbane, Australia

PostPosted: 2005.01.23(Sun)3:45    Post subject: Reply with quote

I think that another problem is that beginners such as myself, don't get the right advice from the LPS and don't know where to look for information. I mean I for one had never heard of cycling a tank, I had no idea of all the chemicals and equipment needed to keep your tank in a good condition.

I think a lot of beginners go to a pet store, see a fish they like and then maybe do a google search or something like that and decide its a good fish and think they can just stick it in a tank with water and feed it.

I have had some bad experiences on this site (most of them my fault) but I still come here and I'm learning new things everyday Smile

I agree with discus man to a certain degree, that some of the ways in which replies are delivered can make the posters of the original question upset.

I think the moderators do a great job of handling some of the issues that arize on this site and I thank them for there willingness to help others succeed in 'fish keeping' Very Happy
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Laskey
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Joined: 27 Nov 2004
Location: Northern Germany

PostPosted: 2005.01.23(Sun)3:54    Post subject: Reply with quote

bumble_bee wrote:
I think that another problem is that beginners such as myself, don't get the right advice from the LPS and don't know where to look for information. I mean I for one had never heard of cycling a tank, I had no idea of all the chemicals and equipment needed to keep your tank in a good condition.

I think a lot of beginners go to a pet store, see a fish they like and then maybe do a google search or something like that and decide its a good fish and think they can just stick it in a tank with water and feed it.

I have had some bad experiences on this site (most of them my fault) but I still come here and I'm learning new things everyday Smile

I agree with discus man to a certain degree, that some of the ways in which replies are delivered can make the posters of the original question upset.

I think the moderators do a great job of handling some of the issues that arize on this site and I thank them for there willingness to help others succeed in 'fish keeping' Very Happy


You're not alone, bumblebee! I thank my lucky stars that I have an LFS who knew not to sell me too many fish in the beginning, and that they forced me to get my water tested (for free!) I still didn't understand cycling to the point I should have, in the beginning, though. Your situation sounds very much like mine, actually! The only reason I knew about "cycling" was because I had posted in excitement to an unrelated newsgroup about my new aquarium, but I reported that it was still cloudy after so many weeks. I wanted to add fish as soon as possible. I was hasty. One aquarist there told me, "Ummmm.... You have to cycle the tank first." I said, "Huh?" Then she gave me some links to web pages about cycling, and I did more research, and ended up here.

Newbies who trust their LFS/LPS are hardly to blame. You *would* expect the LFS, at least in the beginning, to know their stuff. Sadly, a lot of their staff just don't. Nobody here blames a newbie, trust me -- the spirit of the Diseases and Disasters forum in particular is that of helping people recover from their disasters, and Marcos wants it to be a place where we help, not blame people like you who are trying their best. Just show how much you want to learn and be a little humble, and you'll most likely be treated kindly, like I was! If you weren't, consider that maybe a moderator or member was just having a bad day. They're human, but they stick around here because they do want to help people like us.

Sincerely,
Laskey
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